Observation of Mammalian Creatures’ Daily Rituals in Their Native Habitat: A Suburban Domicile
Field Journal: July 9, 2025
Subjects:
Two (2) adult felines, female
One (1) juvenile canine, male
Two (2) humanoid:
One (1) male, adolescent
One (1) female, pre-adolescent
This researcher continues her study of suburban domicile mammalia in their native habitat today, to gain an understanding of the daily rituals of these strange creatures. Notable behaviors are noted and timestamped below.
07:00: Pre-adolescent female human and juvenile canine rise from their slumber, seemingly unaware that the norms of polite society dictate awakening at a much later hour. This researcher reluctantly awakens as well to observe their early morning rituals.
07:01: Immediately, canine and female human demand sustenance. These - quite urgent - calls for nourishment spur the felines to join the appeal, leading this researcher to believe that not only is feeding a pack behavior among these species, but also that the animalia must feed highly infrequently. This researcher notes that the adolescent male does not join in the morning feeding ritual. One wonders if the male human has been banished from the pack or if he is engaging in an extended hibernation activity.
08:17: Canine and female human engage in a strange dance of sorts to announce what one presumes is boredom to the rest of the mammalia - the canine by testing the limits of his speed on every surface in the domicile and the limits of his teeth on every belonging in the domicile, and the female human by continually asking this researcher “what we are doing today” while watching something she refers to as “yew - toob” on a rectangular tablet. When this researcher responds by informing the pre-adolescent that my role is to observe and not to entertain, the pre-adolescent female responds strangely, by moving her eyes upward as if to view the inside of her eyelids and making a loud “uuuuuuuuuuunnnnnghhhhhhhh” sound.
10:06: Mammalia demand nourishment
11:04: Canine attempts to assert dominance over felines by standing approximately one meter away and barking incessantly. When felines meet this ritual with an act of aggression via paw to the face, canine hides behind this researcher.
11:37: Adolescent male human, presumably deceased until this time of day, rises and immediately begins speaking in a strange language to this researcher. Note to look up the etymology and definitions of the terms “skibidi toilet,” “aura farming” and “six-seven”.
12:02: Mammalia again demand nourishment
14:42: Canine again attempts to assert dominance over felines, again is met with an act of aggression and again looks to this researcher for safety.
16:01: Adolescent male human reappears, demands nourishment and refers to this researcher as “cringe”. Must add this phraseology to list of terms to define.
17:09: Human mammalia demand nourishment, but upon presentation of nourishment, reject it out of hand.
18:06: Despite rejection of prepared sustenance, human mammalia again demand nourishment.
21:47: Human mammalia display signs of fatigue, but when this researcher suggests they may be suffering from exhaustion, this researcher is met by both creatures with the strange upward movement of the eyes and requests from the female human to continue to view other pre-adolescent humans opening boxes of “le boo boos” on “yew - toob”.
21:56: Mammalia again demand nourishment. Continued demands for nourishment lead this researcher to conclude that suburban domicile mammalia possess an internal organ, similar to that of a camel, to retain the excess of sustenance consumed on a daily basis.
22:04: Signs of fatigue finally seem to overcome human mammalia and they reluctantly adjourn to their places of slumber, just as canine observes a creature that is invisible to the human eye and exerts authority over this creature through snarls and barks for the next hour.
23:08: This researcher collapses from exhaustion, wondering what sort of creature would choose to live in this confusing and exhausting habitat.