Easy Demon Summoning Spell

Easy Demon Summoning Spell

By Tiffany

There’s nothing worse than showing up to your weekly Black Mass and realizing that nobody brought the necessaries to summon a demon. Without performing that part of the ritual, can you even call yourselves a satanic cult? And if you’re the chapter president like I am, you just know someone will complain about “the strategic vision of our leadership” at the next board meeting. Probably Trevor. Ugh.

Never fear: this spell will give an instant boost to any foul proceedings by summoning an entity from the bowels of hell to rampage through your community. It uses simple ingredients you probably already have, it’s quick, and it’s packed with evil magicks and perversion.

All hail the Dark Lord.

Key Ingredients

  • Goat

Goats are available year-round, they’re a breeze to sneak out of petting zoos, and they smell absolutely unholy. Perfect. I’ve tried this recipe with sheep, but the demons they produce tend to be small and startle easily.

  • Acolytes

You can source these almost anywhere—online, from high school art classes (look for the kids wearing black boots and eyeliner) or at any Greyhound bus station. They’re the heart of the entire ritual and a good buffer to put between yourself and the demon if things go the way they always, 100% of the time, go. I found my current circle of wretched diabolists on Meetup!

  • Grimoire

I still get teary when I open up my grandmother’s Ars Goetia and see all her handwritten notes and hand-produced bloodstains. Any decent occult spellbook will do, but you’ll want to look for a hardcover that can stand up to some fire and pandemonium.

  • Cornstarch 

This will stop your demon from getting too soupy.

FAQ

What Is a Demon?

A demon is a dark spirit that thirsts endlessly for suffering and destruction. Sometimes they fight with K-pop bands.

What If My Loved Ones Won’t Let Me Join a Satanic Cult?

Stab them.

Can I Summon the Demon Ahead of Time?

You can try, but demons are best called forth fresh, because they’re notoriously hard to transport.


Recipe

  • 1 goat (pref. black)

  • 10 candles

  • 6 acolytes

  • 6 hooded robes (pref. black)

  • 30 oz. blood of the innocent (if none available use tomato sauce)

  • 1 grimoire (3rd ed. or later)

  • Chalk (for drawing pentagram)

  • 1 ½ tsp. cornstarch

Instructions

  1. Don your robes. Note: make sure the face hole on your hood is facing the right way!

  2. With the chalk, draw an inverted pentagram on the floor. Try to make the lines straight or else your demon will come out squished.

  3. Select a member to sacrifice (I always nominate Trevor).

  4. As the other members chant in tongues, command the sacrifice to walk the goat to the center of the pentagram, kneel next to it, and embrace it around the neck. Note: if your goat won’t budge, you can try putting a sugar cube in the center of the symbol.

  5. Mix cornstarch with the blood of the innocent and pour over both the sacrifice and the goat, coating evenly.

  6. Light candles and place around the perimeter of the pentagram.

  7. Recite your chosen spell from the grimoire. Note: remember, the ā vowel should be pronounced like in father, not like in after.

  8. Pledge your service to the demon and/or run for your life once it appears. Scream to taste.

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